Dangers Men Face #15: Danger of Freezing

We have thus far covered two dangers men face – the danger of loss and the danger of sin. The third danger is the danger of freezing. As men grow older, they tend to refuse from changing. In other words, men are freezing in their own thinking.

Freezing in Thinking
Patterns and habits are developed in early stage of men’s life. As they advance to later years, what have become habitual will remain. Little effort will be made in order to change these patterns or habits. Men are freezing in their thinking pattern. They are prone to refuse new idea. They are not open-minded and teachable.

Firstly, we need to analyze and identify if one self will get angry at the new ideas or change (especially from the younger one). This is the symptom of freezing. Not only that, new idea will be viewed negatively.

It is crucial to open up one’s mind and learn to adapt the change. Living in this current k-economy and globalization world, it will be foolish if we do not adapt with the ongoing changes. For example, get familiarize with world wide web will benefit us in acquiring new ideas and information. Not only that, communication made effective.

To spark off this learning desire, one must overcome the lack of curiosity. Be like the little children who yearn for more input. They ask a lot. Adult also needs this kind of attitude. Don’t let your curiosity freeze.

Having the right attitude will facilitate the adsorption of learning and adaptation. Avoid personality excuse and prejudice. To quote from the author, men are in danger if they just think that’s just what they are. Or when men pass judgment and condemn to others. After all, God mold, change and use our life.


Stages of Adult Development

Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance (Prov 1:5).

Wise men and women are always learning, always listening for fresh insights (Prov 18:15).

If we refuse to development, we can “freeze” in our youth. Identify the stage of our life. Then make the necessary preparations.

(1) The age of learning (20-30 years) – This is the time where we learn the most as we prepare for life and work. Learning, experiencing, and correction are part of life.

(2) The age of accomplishment (30-40 years) – Mid-life issues begin to emerge though we are clear what we can do. Learning is replaced with the ability to contribute. As life pressure comes, we draw more resources to overcome it.

(3) The age of relearning (40-50 years) – Mid-life crisis hits many men. We feel that we need to go back to relearn. It gives us opportunities for rebuilding the right foundations.

(4) The age of learning and growing OR freezing and dying (50-60 years) – This could be the most critical time of all. Men will make choice either to freeze or grow. Continue to learn will make us grow. If we freeze, we’ll begin to die off. Past lessons can be used for guidance. Growth is moving from the past to the future under God’s leading.

(5) The age of character and influence (60+ years) – This stage comes if men continue to grow and learn. Spiritual growth and personal growth are essentially important.

The Key to Change and Growth
Humility is the key to spiritual, intellectual and emotional growth. It all starts when we learn from Christ and imitate him. Moving forward, we learn and listen from each other by humbling ourselves. When there’s humility, openness is there.

Freezing in Relationship
Apart from freezing in thinking and growing, men can freeze in relationship. One typical issue is freezing in marriage. Relationship of a couple will reduce to minimal. Not to say there’s no love. There is something missing. A husband might prioritize his work and career while a wife might focus on child rearing etc. Stagnation emerges in relationship. If it is not settled, more big issues on the way. Therefore, couple needs to take time for communication and assessment.

Other relationship such as relationship with children, friends and relatives also need attention. If we begin to freeze in these relationships, communication or specifically conversation will be reduced. There’s no in dept sharing take place. Sin could be the stumbling block (refer to sharing on The Danger of Sin).